Scarvangelion
by TheWickerMan1
Summary: The Post Second Impact World Is Yours
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I do not own Evangelion, Scarface, or any of the characters in it so don't bother suing. I'm a full-time college student so you won't be getting much anyways…..Greedy Bastards... >.>

"Blah" : Speech

'Blah' : Thought

(Bam!) : Action

Summary: Instead of Shinji being taken care of by his teacher for 7 years, he was taken under the wing of Tony Montana.

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It was a nice, quiet, sunny day in Miami. People on the beach lounging, women roller skating the boardwalk. Yup, all in a norma-

(BOOM! Shotgun re-cocked) "THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON'T BRING TONY MONTANA'S MAIL WHEN YOU 'SPOSED TO, YA DUMB FUCK! NOW YA DEAD!"

Yup, a normal day in Miami, Florida….if you live near Tony Montana.

(Flipping through Mail) "Le'see ere…bills, bills, god damn I.R.S on my ass 'gain….. Ahhh Ey Shinji! Some mail came for ya, something from your ol' man Gendo," Exclaimed Tony.

A boy around the age of 14 is seen walking down a set of curved stairs wearing a 3 piece suit wiping some white powder off of his face. "You say something Uncle Tony?" Asked Shinji. "Yeah I did, jou got some mail from your ol' man. Now 'scuse me, I gotta go deal with Alberto. He fucked up too many times." Says Tony as he walks into his conference room.

(Yelling, then shooting, then more yelling)

'Too bad, I kind of liked Alberto, he taught me how to cook.' thought Shinji as he sat down on a couch and read the letter from Gendo. 'So, he wants me back after all this time? Heh, wait until father gets a load of me now.' (Smirks)

"I'm gonna miss ya kid, jou were like the son I neva' had." Said Tony as he and Shinji hugged each other.

Tony grabs Shinji by the shoulders, looks him over and says "Jou raise some 'ell for your Pops eh? 'Lil prick deserves it. Make me proud kid."

"I'll show them Uncle Tony, I promise. I'll show them nobody messes with Tony Montana or 'Scarface' Ikari," Whispered Shinji.

Shinji says his goodbyes to Tony and walks out of the mansion. He pauses at the door, looking at his home for the past 7 years. In particular to a certain piece of art; a giant metal globe with **THE WORLD IS YOURS** written on it.

Smirking, Shinji thinks 'Jou damn right it is.'

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End Prologue

Well, there it is. I'll get to writing more when I get another break from college work.

Later Doods.


	2. Chapter 1 updated

Disclaimer: Don't own Eva or Scarface, back the hell off you vultures. Or I'll sic my demon kitty on you. He needs more souls.

"Blah": Speech

'Blah': Thought

(Bam!) : Action

Chapter 1

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"We are sorry, but due to an emergency all phone lines have been downed temporar-"

(SMASH)

'Stupid phone, stupid emergency bullshit, stupid father, stupid-' something caught Shinji's eye before he could finish his inner monologue/rant. It was a girl, in a school uniform and had blue hair.

'Well well well…. (smirks) aren't you a hot lil thing…' Thought Shinji as he took in her lithe figure, but was to be interrupted as a giant foot came down not ten feet in front of him. Looking up he sees a giant….thing that's being shot at by various Aircraft

"HOLY FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?" Screamed Shinji as he tried to get his bearings after what he just saw.

"Hey!" Shinji looked over his shoulder and saw a purple haired woman in a car with the door open screaming at him to get in.

"Ya don't need to tell me twice lady!" Exclaimed Shinji jumping into the car as it sped off.

"What the fuck was that thing?" said Shinji gasping for breath. "That was an angel. Name's Misato by the way, you must be Shinji Ikari, right?" Asked the purple haired beauty now known as Misato.

"That's me. So you must be my new prostitute right?" Shinji questioned.

"YOUR WHAT?"

"My new prostitute. Why else would you send me a picture of yourself leaning over showing your nice tits at me and writing 'Hey look at these!' on it?" Asked Shinji like this has happened many times before.

Misato swerves the car back and forth trying to get away from the Angel, in effect bouncing Shinji around the car like a pin ball, which was a bonus for her.

"HEY! (header into the dash board) COULD YA (slams up against door) DRIVE A LITTLE BIT SLOWER! (slams into windshield)" Yelled the human pin ball….I mean Shinji.

This is why you should always wear your seat belt, and not piss the driver off. ;

"I'll have you know I am a Captain, not some prostitute. Now shut up and be quiet." Said a red-faced Misato as she took out her binoculars to look at what the JSDF was preparing to do.

"Oh crap, they are going to use an N2 mine! Get down!" exclaimed Misato, shielding Shinji's body with hers.

(huge explosion, sends car end over end)

As the dust clears, we see Misato getting off Shinji and her assessing the damage done to her now turned over car.

"Are you all right?" Asked Misato.

"I think I'm OK… (pats body down) Yep, I'm alright. You sure you aren't a prostitute, I mean throwing yourself at me like that. I know I'm sexy but damn. " grinned Shinji.

"Yeah, I'm sure, now shut up and help me get my car back on it's wheels." Groaned Misato. 'Annoying lil' shit.'

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Later, Misato and Shinji are headed on their way to the Geo-Front in her new P.O.S car.

(Misato talking on phone) "Sure. Don't worry. He is under my protection at top priority. Prepare a car train for us. A linear one, please. Yes. I'll take full responsibility for him because it was my idea to meet him in the first place. Bye."

'Man this sucks! I've just restored my car... And wrecked it, again'

"Hey Misato-san?"

'33 loan repayments to go ... and the repair costs...'

(Shinji pokes Misato in the shoulder) "Misato-san…"

'What's even worse, my only good clothes have been ruined...'

"Misato-san..."

'I was in high spirits too damnit…'

"Oi woman! Jou fucking ansa' me when I call jour fuckin' name, 'aight?" Yelled Shinji.

"Do you have to say fuck all the time Shinji?" Questioned Misato.

"Until you learn to answer me the first time I fucking call your name? … Fuck no!" said Shinji. "As I was saying, why did you take all these?" he said, jerking a thumb in the back seat where about 6 batteries were located.

"Ah, It's OK. I'm a government official, so it's ok" Chuckled Misato nervously, apparently to convince herself more than convince Shinji.

"Then if it's ok, why didn't you yank some of the jewelry or a TV? Do you NOT know how to loot? Christ, wake me up when we get there" sighs Shinji as he takes a nap.

'Hmmmm….why didn't I go after that stuff?' Thought Misato as she drove to the car train.

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"I'm sure it was this way……" muttered a very frustrated Misato walking around the Geo-Front complex like a lost puppy.

"Ya know, we've been by this same exit about 4 times. I think you are just giving me an excuse to look at your lovely backside. I thank you." Chuckled Shinji, thoroughly amused at pushing his tour guide's buttons.

"Misato! You were supposed to get here as soon as you could, not flirt with your new boy-toy." Exclaimed a blonde haired woman in a one-piece bathing under a lab coat.

"Sorry Ritsuko, I'm still trying to learn my way around this place…." Said a sweat-dropping Misato.

Shinji just stood in the background as the two women argued in the elevator. 'Jesus, can they just shut up?' Shinji thinks.

The trio exited the elevator and entered a pitch black room. This put Shinji a little off, having seen similar situations when working with his Uncle Tony.

"Ok, what's going on here?" Asked a somewhat edgy Shinji.

A couple of seconds later, Shinji is face to face with a giant purple……thing. Needless to say, Shinji was a little shocked.

"GAH!" Yelped Shinji, "What the FUCK is that thing?"

"That 'thing' as you call it is man's greatest hope in survival. The Multi-purpose Humanoid Fighting Machine EVANGELION Unit One!" Exclaimed the bottle blonde scientist.

"So this is what my father has done instead of raising his son?" said a thoroughly un-amused Shinji. 'I can't believe it; he'd rather build this than raise his own son. That's screwed up.'

"That is correct."

And there, high above the Evangelion and the trio stood the Bastard King himself. Needle Dick…I mean Gendo Ikari.

"It's been a long time," Said a dispassionate Gendo.

Shinji just stares at his father with no emotion. Just then, the compound shakes.

"Prep Unit One for battle" says Gendo.

"Are you serious? Rei is too injured to go out there, and we have no other pilots!" Shouts Misato.

"One has just been delivered." Smirks a smarmy Gendo.

"So this is why you called me here father?" Shouts Shinji to his father.

"Yes, I called you because I have a use for you. You will pilot Unit One." Replies the Bastard King.

"Sir, it took Rei months to sync with her Eva." Said a somewhat frantic Misato.

"Misato, we just need him to sit in it, that's all we ask of him." Said Ritsuko, trying to calm her friend down.

'Hmmm… What would Uncle Tony say to this?' Thinks Shinji before saying, "Why don't jou try sticking jour head up jour ass…see if it fits."

(Various sounds ranging from gasps to chuckles and snorts)

Apparently, Gendo doesn't find Shinji's comment as amusing as some of the bridge crew, Misato, and Ritsuko.

"Tell Rei to get suited up, the back up is useless." Gendo says to a Grey haired man by his side. The man nods and leaves the room.

A few minutes later a blue haired girl covered in bandages is wheeled out on a gurney onto the platform Shinji and the ladies are on.

'I can't believe he is going to send someone in that condition out to fight that. He really hasn't changed in all these years.' Thinks Shinji, not really shocked at his father's actions.

There was another tremor; this caused Rei in the gurney to fall off it. Shinji saw a steel I beam was going to land on her. So he dove towards her, hoping to lessen the impact to her by covering her body with his. He waited for the impact, but it never happened. Shinji cautiously looks up and sees a giant hand over both of them.

"I-Impossible! There wasn't a plug in. It shouldn't have been bale to move!" Shouted a thoroughly shocked Ritsuko.

Misato looks on in shock and awe of what happened. 'Did it, did it protect him?'

Shinji, cradling an injured Rei looks on at what's going on. She gasps in pain, Shinji looks down and sees blood on his hand, Rei's blood.

"Don't worry, everything will be ok, I promise" Whispered Shinji to Rei.

"…" Rei says nothing, just looking at Shinji.

"I'll pilot it! Alright? I'll do it!" Shinji shouts to his father.

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Shinji sits in the entry plug, trying to sort out all the stuff that has happened to him since arriving here hears a voice.

"Commence injection of LCL into entry plug" States a serious looking Ritsuko.

"Excuse me? Inject wha- Hey! What is this stuff? I can't swi-!" Shinji tries to say, but is too busy holding his breath.

"Shinji, don't worry, the LCL will supply Oxygen for you; you'll be used to it after a while." Ritsuko stated as Misato chuckled at the now sick looking pilot. 'Heh, it's a small bit of payback for calling me a prostitute, but it'll do for now.'

"ugh! Ugh…I think I'm going to be sick…" States a very green looking Shinji.

"Deal with it! You're a man aren't you?" Shouts a Misato, 'Score another one for Misa-chan.'

Shinji chooses not to answer in favor of keeping his stomach contents where they belong.

"Eva unit one to the launching pad…All green" Says a random operator.

"Evangelion One! Launch!" Misato shouts.

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Normally, there would be the portion of the fic where the first Evangelion battle occurs; I know that everyone has read too many of these. So I'll spare you the time wasted on reading another one.

(Insert obligatory first Eva battle scene here)

See? Isn't that much easier to stomach?

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Later, Shinji wakes up in an unfamiliar room.

'I guess I'm in a hospital. What happened? Everything up to me seeing that girl seems like a blur…' Thinks a confused Shinji.

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Well, there is the first completed chapter of Scarvangelion. Hope ya liked it.

Later dood.


	3. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Evangelion or Scarface, so Unknown Caller 599- stop calling my house! At least say something. Don't just stay on the line and breathe heavily. Creepy Lil' Bastard.

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Last time on Scarvangelion:

Later, Shinji wakes up in an unfamiliar room.

'I guess I'm in a hospital. What happened? Everything up to me seeing that girl seems like a blur…' thinks a confused Shinji.

And now on with the show…fic…thingee…

Chapter 2

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Commander's Office

"Your son is quite different that what I expected Gendo," the old man said to his chess partner.

"I agree; he is a bit more…energetic that I thought he would be Fuyutsuki. Apparently he did not stay with my brother," Gendo replied without changing his expression.

"That he did not, he was housed and raised by a man named Tony Montana. There isn't much mentioned in his files, other than he was a Cuban refugee that went to America. Other than that, there is nothing of importance on him. Check," said Fuyutsuki with a slight smile.

"It is irrelevant; the scenario will not be deterred. He will do as he is told. Checkmate," a Gendo smirked in reply.

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Geo-Front Hospital

'Oi, I feel horrible…wha-what happened to me?' Shinji thought.

Still feeling very groggy from the sedatives, Shinji looked at where he was. Through his brilliant deduction skills, (Shinji: Shut up smart ass Author: Bite me you fictional character) he surmised that he was in a hospital.

"Ahhh, Mr. Ikari, I see we are awake finally. Have a good nap?" a male doctor chuckled. Crossed over to the bed, he checked on the patient's condition.

"T-Tony?" a Shinji asked groggily.

"No, name's Wong," the doctor replied.

Before he can say or do anything else, he Dr. Wong was ushered out by Ritsuko and her assistant. Shutting the door, the bottle blonde doctor strode up to Shinji's bed and repeated the actions of the physician.

"Well Shinji, good to see that you are awake." Ritsuko said while checking his blood pressure and his eyes. "Good, good; no damage done," she said to her assistant.

"Is everything ok with me Doctor?" Shinji tiredly asked around a yawn.

"First, please call me Ritsuko; we are going to be co-workers after all. And to answer your question, everything seems to be alright at the moment. I'm here to get a blood sample for our records, Ritsuko stated.

"R-really? Do you have to get a blood sample now Ritsuko-san?" asked a concerned Shinji. 'Damn! I don't think a pilot with my habit is going to be good PR.'

Ritsuko made a mental note to ask Shinji why he seemed apprehensive about her getting a sample of blood. However she dismissed it as a minor fear of needles.

After getting the sample, Ritsuko told Shinji that he was free to go, but to wait for Misato to take him to meet his father so he can obtain his living arrangements.

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Shinji looks out to the scenery of the Geo-Front. Wondering what living here will be like.

'I am starting to miss Uncle Tony; maybe after I get settled in I will give him a call.'

As Shinji turns back to head into his room; a nurse wheeling a patient comes into sight. The blue haired patient motions for the nurse to halt. Blues eyes meet red eyes; after a minute or so, she motions the nurse to take her to her room. The boy stares at they retreating pair.

'Well, that was interesting,' a confused Shinji thought before entering his room to change into a set of clothes.

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"What is the report on Ikari doctor?" the Bastard King demanded from behind his gloved hands.

"Well, sir; Shinji-kun's vitals are within normal parameters for someone his age. There was no sight of contamination or brain damage from the battle, and I have taken a blood sample to have tested to double check my prognosis," Ritsuko stated while thinking, 'I'm not sure if I should tell the commander about Shinji's reaction to getting the sample, bah, it'll be fine and if something comes up it most likely won't be anything too serious, not like he would give two shits anyways.'

She glances down at her watch and remembers what day it is, 'Ah shit, today is Thursday; Gendo wants his itch scratched. This man doesn't love me; I was fool like my mother to believe he actually cared. Well no more! This stops now!'

"Doctor, I expect you to be at my living quarters at 1800 hours….Where are you going? I haven't dismissed you yet," Gendo glared as he watched Ritsuko leave his office.

"I quit trying to get into your heart Gen-…Commander. I'm tired of the rejection and treatment from you. So you will have to find someone else to be your fuck toy you needled-dicked bastard," Ritsuko sneered, shutting the door with a resounding boom.

After pulling of a successful Spock Maneuver, Gendo reaches for the phone and presses the second speed-dial button. "Doctor Akagi's usefulness has ended. Terminate her," said the ever stoic commander.

'Useless bitch, just like her mother.'

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After having to deal with needle dick….Gendo, dealing with Gendo; Ritsuko started to walk to her office to have her nicotine fix.

'Thank God that's done, maybe now I can find somebody that's a decent human being…. And take care of my cats; poor Penny and Monty-belly probably miss me so much,' the doctor thought sadly as she walked by the hospital wing.

'Hmmm…I wonder how Shinji-kun is. At least he isn't an asshole like his father.'

Oh he is, but only if you piss him off juuuuuust enough.

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'Jeeze, where is a vending machine when you need one?' Shinji thought, searching the machine of junk-foodness.

"Fuckin' finally." Muttered the now satisfied Ikari, now in possession of a Crispy Bar and Milkshake. After gobbling down his poor choice of sustenance, Shinji wandered back to his room and on the way he bumped into Dr. Akagi.

"Oh! Hello Dr. Akagi."

"Hello Shinji-kun, are you feeling any better?" The good doctor asked.

"I'm feeling a little bit better now, thank you for asking. Wong's a good man," the pilot said.

"Good to hear that. How about I walk with you to get your residence papers? I can answer any questions you have about NERV," Ritsuko smiled pleasantly.

"Sounds like a plan to me, shall we?" Shinji asked, holding out his arm for the bottle blonde; a slight smile forming on his face.

"My my my, aren't you a little charmer?" Ritsuko jokingly stated, taking his arm with a slight chuckle.

As the two walked off, a person's head peeked out from behind the corner, his dark eyes narrowing in on the target.

'Well, the boy has made it just a little bit more difficult. No matter, I'll get my job done and get back to my Death Pint,' the figure thought as it slipped back into the many corridors of NERV.

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"Don't stop me now! I'm havin' such a good time. I'm havin' a ball. Hmmm hmmm hmm hmmmmmm" A janitor sang along with his SDAT, moping up a mess down corridor E-2.

He was never a big fan of working around this section of NERV. A lot of the wiring was faulty, making the lights go on and off frequently, and while this would normally bother him, but he had brought along some tunes to keep him calm through out his shift.

The poor fool never heard the guy.

"They call me Mr. Fahrenheit, I'm traveling at the speeeed of liiight, I wanna make a super sonic man out of-"

CRACK SNAP

In less than a second, his body crumpled to the floor with a sickening thud. The mop still in his grasp and the bucket tipped over, covering the newly mopped floor with dirty water.

"It's a shame to kill a fellow Queen fan, but you gotta do what you gotta do," the mysterious man shrugged before dragging the now dead janitor into an empty storage room.

Later the man walks out wearing the man's uniform. He takes out a picture and looks at the blonde beauty in it.

'Looks like it's time do die.' He thought, walking off whistling to the tune of a classic rock song.

To be continued.

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I thought this would be a good end for this chapter. My first try at a cliff-hanger ; was it good enough?

The next chapter: The man makes his appearance, will Ritsuko live? Hell, even I don't know. So why ask me?

Big thanks to Lord Raa and Wonga316 for helping me out with this fucker :P

See ya later dood.


End file.
